Broiler A.D.D.

.. yep, that's what I have. This happens 8/10 that I decide to broil anything. French bread being the most frequent victim. In my mind I think that it's just a couple of minutes and I can remember it, as most normal people would believe. Then BAM.. something or someone distracts what little attention span I have and next thing you know the dinner bell, I mean the smoke detector, is screaming.

It's embarrassing enough that this happens frequently, but the icing on the cake is that my girls have the routine down..

• Smoke detector squeals.
• They immediately stop whatever they were doing.
• Ryleigh opens up the front door and windows.
• Avery gets the back door and a chair out so I can push the reset button.

Just like we practice.

Regularly.

I Make My Own Hurdles

We all have hurdles in life. What would we do with out them? I know what I do. I make my own...

Here's my day. One of those great days when there have really been no obstacles that you feel defeated by. They're so far and few between. I got to sleep in, shopped all day, my kids are spending the night at grandmas, the husband is hunting. That's right, the house to myself baby! Good day..

So onto my hurdle story. Playing on the computer, and I hear the sound.. my favorite sound. A text. I jump up and run (ya, run) into the living room. In the middle of the floor is one of my kids little lawn chairs (ya, that's where they go, in the middle of the living room). Remember, I'm in run mode, so instead of going around it, in a split second I decide to hurdle it. Uh huh, 8th grade track.. Right lead leg..

But I missed. And I fell. On my face. Hard.

No worries, I landed safe and secure on what little ego I have. I just laid on the floor for a minute thinking how thrilled I am that no one was home and how I was gonna explain the carpet burn on my chin.

Stupid text anyway.

I just started working at an assisted living center about 4 weeks ago. And honestly, it's more than just 'assisting.' Some of the residents (as they're called) need a lot of care. I've done this kind of work previously, it's not glamorous, but it's rather enjoyable when you see the 'residents' as people. Amazing, funny people who have lived long lives and have great stories to tell.

One man fought in WWII. I know nothing about it. I had better things to do than pay attention in 10th grade history. His name is Charlie (no names have been changed) and before asking your name, he likes to know 'what you are', as in French, Scottish.. blah blah blah. So now as I enter his room in the mornings I say(loudly, as he is mostly deaf) "Good morning Charlie." He replies "Oh, it's Amber the Scottish/Irish married to a German."

On my first day there I sat next to an elderly lady while I was waiting for my orientation. I look over at her and say "Hi, I'm Amber, what's your name?" She looks at me and not in confusion or anything, shakes her and just says, "No." End of story. Just no.

And another lady, she's 100. I don't think I've ever met anyone that has lived an entire decade. I'm in awe sometimes.

Working in these kind of facilities you realize how overlooked our older generations are and things that we'll never really understand. Sometimes I chuckle to myself when they get upset about throwing out part of their lunches, or tell you not to wash their shirt today, it can wait for another 'wash day'.

Like I said, not glamorous work, but we'll all be there someday.

Hand Puppet Genius

Sometimes, the things that come out of my daughters mouth, just kill me. I love her to death. The things that 6 year olds come up with are so genuine and unfortunately sometimes so true. Like tonight at dinner....

Her: Mom, do you know why I have hiccups..



Me: Well, theres some
muscles in your abdomen that start to spasm....



Her:
(interrupting)You don't know, Elmo knows. He's smarter than you. He knows about
hiccups, you dont. He has friends that are animals, kids and grown ups, you
dont. He knows all his numbers, all his letters and his address, you dont. Elmo
has a fish and sometimes he laughs at things. He's red. You're not.

All valid points.



I never want to break that witty, fun spirit she has, but sometimes, I'd like to break her neck!